Formula #034: Testosterone and dating performance (5 powerful ways to become confident around women)

Welcome back to another edition of the formula.

In today's issue, you'll learn:

• Quote of the day

• Candid insight into my own dating journey (super anxious to extremely confident)

• 5 critical changes you can make instantly to feel 10x more confident in front of women

If struggle with confidence around women, this is for you.

This is particularly relevant for single men but it also applies to men in relationships who want to feel more masculine and confident in front of their partner.

Read time: 4 minutes.

Let's dive in.

Quote of The Day

How I Went From Being an Anxious, Insecure Wreck to Building Impenetrable Confidence Around Women.

Until I was 25, I was awful around women.

All the way through my childhood, at school and then during college I was a pathetic excuse of a man.

What was even more alarming was the fact I was tall (6.3) and although I know many would deem this a physical advantage, my chat and confidence around women were questionable, to say the least.

Not kidding, I was tragic.

I was always that guy in the corner either staring gormlessly in awe or talking about taking action that never actually happened.

Resonate?

During school and then subsequently, at college I was plagued with all sorts of negative thinking.

I used to constantly overthink what to say and how to act. This meant when I did chat with women, I came across as nervous and inauthentic.

They knew it too.

I used to try and crack cheesy lines that invariably backfired because even if it worked, once I’d broken the ice, they then realised what a shy, timid wreck I was.

I’d sometimes stutter or stumble over each of my words.

To make myself feel better, at school and during college I used to always play the idiot because I thought women would find that cool.

They love the naughty guy, right?

But surprise, surprise it didn’t work. If anything, it did the opposite and made me look even worse.

And when, finally, a “Miss Penelope” type did end up playing ball, I used to get horrendously nervous.. especially on dates.

I'd often find myself sitting there, fighting to keep it together - I would often get sweaty palms and a pounding heart rate.

As my romantic endeavors unfolded, it’s worth mentioning I was extremely skinny. Especially when I went to college.

As you may have read in last week’s newsletter, I’d been diagnosed with kyphosis of the spine.

This is basically an arched upper back that makes your neck protrude and ruins your upper body posture.

Seems trivial I know so why did I find this so debilitating?

It made me feel deeply self-conscious. Especially in front of women. Although I was tall, I knew I lacked gravitas in how I carried myself and this infected my confidence.

Now, I must confess.

It wasn’t all doom and gloom. I did have girlfriends during this time but given how deep-rooted my anxiety and insecurity were, it ruined the relationships.

I never felt present.

I always felt stuck in my head.

I was constantly plagued with self doubt.

And, after a while, the women I dated could sense this. They'd realise the initial package they’d signed up for was just a facade for what was really a deeply insecure, shy and anxious young man.

This pain cut deep.

As a young man, who spent a lot of time around other men who seemed (from the outside anyway) to find women and dating a breeze, it really fucked with head.

Seriously..

• I didn't know who I was

• I didn't know what I valued

• I wasn't responsible

• I wasn’t academic

• I flopped school

• I drank a lot

• I did drugs

• I was arrogant

In other words.. I had almost nothing going for me.

What kind of high-value, self respecting women would be attracted to that?

None.

And, that’s why I continued to struggle with dating and approaching women with confidence.

You know what?

Here’s a candid confession for you. My romantic situation got so bad, I went 3 years without sex or dating a single woman (which for a man of 22-25 years old seemed wildly strange given what the traditional male stereotypes of that age tend to be doing).

Then 3 years ago, I got my testosterone levels tested.

14.27 which for you US folk is about 400 ng/dl.

In other words…

Very low.

About 35-40% lower than what they should be at that age.

Research clearly shows how devastating low testosterone can have on your confidence.

It’s been shown to play a huge role in:

• Anxiety

• Self esteem

• Insecurity

• Low confidence

• Inconsistent mood

• Sex drive problems

• Weight issues (skinny or fat)

Basically, it was all the symptoms I had been wrestling with for most of my life.

Then, after implementing the same 6 pillar system I now coach my clients on.

This was the result.

In US terms, that’s over 870. 

Yes, you read that right..

I more than doubled my testosterone.

Remember all of those symptoms I mentioned above?

All gone.

I put on 40 lbs of new lean muscle.

Anxiety and insecurity were obliterated.

And the best bit?

Dating is now a breeze.

This was a piece of dating feedback I received last week (no joke).

5 Critical Changes You Can Make Instantly to Feel 10x More Confident in Front of Women.

Hit The Gym

Benefits of going to the gym at least 3x per week to lift weights:

• Builds discipline

• Develops consistency

• Increases muscle mass

• Cultivates persistence

• Nurtures mental resilience

All of which makes you 10x more desirable to women.

The ultimate confidence cheat code is a lean body.

Be Authentic

Stop with the ridiculous dating tactics.

I’ve been there myself.

Trust me: they’re complete and utter BS.

The best thing I’ve learned is to just be yourself.

In an ever-increasing superficial world, women are crying out for authentic men.

Pursue Your Purpose

As a man, your ultimate calling is to serve something bigger than yourself.

Not women.

Men that seek women as their main source of pleasure and fulfillment will ruin themselves and their relationships.

The right woman will help you realize your potential sooner.

Her fierce presence will help inspire you to be the best you can be so that you unlock the best life together, as a team.

But, your main focus should always be to pursue what lights you up professionally or creatively.

Not women.

Raise Your Testosterone

Low testosterone makes you:

• Anxious

• Insecure

• Skinny or fat

• Doubt yourself

• Impedes decision making

High testosterone makes you:

• Lean

• Secure

• Confident

• Decisive

• Raises self-esteem

You tell me which one women prefer?

Integrity

Say what you mean, mean what you say.

And do what you mean and do as you say.

Your words and actions are like gold. They are precious.

They are a reflection of who you are as a person.

Using hyperbole, lies or not sticking to what you say you’ll do are major romantic repellents.

Women want a man who honors his word.

They crave a man of conviction.

To skyrocket your love life, integrity is how you become a true man of distinction.

That’s all for this Monday.

If you’re not getting value out of these tips, please consider unsubscribing.

I won’t mind and there are no hard feelings.

Alternatively, if you enjoy this newsletter, the best compliment you could pay me is to share it with others on Twitter.

Otherwise, see you again next week - same time, same place.

Your, Simmo.

P.S: 2 wins from this week, below.

P.S.S:

If you are struggling with:

• Low energy

• Erectile issues

• Sleep problems

• Insecurity around women

• Low self-esteem or confidence

• Body-conscious (skinny or overweight)

Odds are, you may have low testosterone.

If you’d like to have an informal, confidential chat about your situation to better understand whether my 6-pillar system may be appropriate for you.

Book a free 15 minute discovery call here.